Who Let The Sephy Out?!
by lonlyaeris
Summary: Um, just plain nonsense I guess, I love writing FFVII humor stories! And I plan on making more! ^_^ Um...please R/R! And uh, no flames please...
1. Default Chapter

Story 1 **Who Let the Sephy out?**   
**By: LonlyAeris**   
**lonlyaeris@hotmail.com**   
  
**A Note From The Author:**   
**Dear Reader,**   
**I just wanted to let you know that none of the Final Fantasy VII characters belong to me. They are all a copyright of SquareSoft. Okay, go ahead and read my lame-O story! ~_^**   
  
**It starts off as a nice breezy day! Tifa and Cloud are sitting on the porch talking, Barret and Cid are trying to see who can swear the most, Yuffie's trying to take Vincent's Materia, Cait's...um, well no one quite knows what he's doing, RedXIII is sleeping in the couch inside, Aeris is planting a pretty garden, and Seph's trying to think up of a evil plot about destroying man kind and conquer earth as we know it! I think...**

**Aeris: Ah! What a beautiful day! The sun is shining! The grass is green! And I'm planting my garden while listening to Ricky Martin sing, Shake Your Bon Bon on the radio! What can be better? [smiles]**

**Tifa: Listening to Ricky Martin sing, Shake your Bon Bon in front of you! [laughs] Ahhh...he's so dreamy!! [starts going into her own little world and sighing]**

**Cloud: What's so great about Ricky Martin anyway??? All he is, is some cheap punk that wears his shirts to tight! I'm much better lookin than he is!!**

**Tifa and Aeris: [laughs]**

**Cloud: What's so funny???**

**Cid: @@$%#@@@@^^%*&%^$#@!!!@@#@@(&*%##@$@@$#@@@&%$@!!**

**Barret: That ain't coo at all man! ^$$$#$@!%$%$%$$$$$&&^*&$$$^&*&*$$$$$*^&$!**

**Cid: Ah! Shut up!! You make it sound like we're at a grocery story ya idiot!!!**

**Barret: No I don't! W-well ya make sound like we're onna webpage!!**

**Cid: Um, Barret? We are on a webpage...**

**Barret: We are?**

**Cid: Yep...**

**Barret: Oh...**

**Yuffie: C'mon! Just a little bit!!**

**Vincent: ...............**

**Yuffie: Please??? Be a pal! [smiles in a cheesy way]**

**Vincent: ...............**

**Yuffie: C'MON!!! I'll be your friend!! [smiles again]**

**Vincent: *sigh***

**Yuffie: ??**

**Vincent: ...............**

**Yuffie: [sweat drop] Ugh!!! You can forget it!! [stomps off]**

**RedXIII: zzz...**

**Aeris: [gets up and dusts herself off] Well, I'm done! ^_^**

**RedXII: zzzz...mmmh.......*mumble mumble*...th-there you are...ggrh...**

**Tifa: Huh? Wha'd you say Red?**

**RedXIII: It....it's a big ol' badger......mmmhg...**

**Aeris: heh heh heh...he's chasing a badger!!**

**Cloud: Great, leave it to RedXIII to act like an idiot.**

**RedXIII: Gr....mhhg, c-come back here ya little virmin....ggrh...**

**Aeris, Cloud, and Tifa: [laughs]**

**Somewhere in Tifa's kitchen: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! [loud crash]**

**Everyone stops what their doing: ???**

**Tifa: What the %#& was that???**

**Cloud: Um, I dunno. I'll go check... [gets up and walks in...]**

**Alluva sudden...*ding***

**Cloud: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [runs out scared half to death]**

**CaitSith: RUUUUUUUUUNNNN!!!!! [runs out too...]**

**Tifa: Huh? What's wrong? What happened?**

**CaitSith: *_* I'LL TELL YOU LATER!!! JUST RUN!!!!!!!**

**Everyone gets away from Seventh Heaven forgetting that RedXIII is still in there sleeping. Seventh Heaven explodes and poor poor RedXIII goes flying in the sky like Team Rocket does in Pokemon.**

**RedXIII: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *ding***

**Cloud: .......**

**Tifa: .......**

**Aeris: .......**

**Barret: .......**

**CaitSith: .......**

**Yuffie: .......**

**Vincent: .......**

**Cid: ...um, is he...uh, dead?**

**Cloud: Um...I...think...so.........**   
**...**   
**...**   
**...**   
**...**   
**...**   
**...**   
**[a loooong 15 minuet pause]**

**Tifa: Um, Cait?**

**CaitSith: Y-yes...?**

**Tifa: What did you do...?**

**CaitSith: I knew you were gonna ask that...um, well...[takes a deep breath] Well I was watching Bill Nye...**

**Cloud: So...?**

**CaitSith: Well, he was doing this really neat experiment and it seemed really cool so I thought, "Hey Cait!! Why don't YOU try it?" And at the bottom of the screen it said, "Don't try this at home!" So I heard this itty bitty little voice inside of me saying, "Don't do it Cait! It's not worth it!" then I thought okay! But then the other voice said, "Don't listen to him! He's lying! Try it!" but then the other voice said, "Please don't do it Cait! Don't get yourself in trouble!" but then the eager voice said, "AH! Their just an egghead! Go for it!" But then the other voice said: "who are you callin an egghead CHICKEN WUSS!"**

**Cloud: Hey, isn't that from Final fantasy 8?**

**Aeris: Mm? Mm...**

**CaitSith: And then the other voice said, "Well ain't that pleasant!!! An idiot who can't find themselfs in the mirror!" and then the other said...**

**Vincent: Which voice is he talking about?**

**Cid: I dunno...I lost track a long time ago....**

**Barret: $@^!! Man! My head hurts!**

**CaitSith: then the other one said, "Well, your so dumb! Your momma had throw you inta a pit full of lions to for you ta understand that you ain't got no brain!!" but then the other one had a great combat! he said.....**

**Yuffie: Cait talks to much....**

**Cloud: What does this have to do with the explosion?**

**Tifa: I have no idea...**

**CaitSith: And then the other one said, "Forget it ya big idiot! Your the last person who should be callin me a chicken wuss ya big ugly!!" then the other one said, "before you start callin me ugly you should look in the mirror! And then MAYBE you'll have some common sense to..."**

**Everyone besides Cait: CAITSITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**CaitSith: What...?**

**Cloud: Just tell us how the explosion was created....**

**CaitSith: Oh yeah!! I completely forgot about that! I was so caught up in my story that I didn't have a clue! Speaking of clue, have you guys played the game clue? Aw man! It's so fun!! The plot of the game is...**

**Everyone: CAIT!!!!!**

**CaitSith: Oh yeah...sorry...well anyway...I did the experiment then the explosion came. Because at the bottom of the screen said, "don't do this at home..." and then that's when the little voice came in and said.....**

**Everyone: CAIT!!!!!**

**~To be continued....~**   


**lol. How does everyone like my story so far? lol. Well, stay tuned for the next chapter! Please RR! ~_^**   
**~lonlyaeris**   



	2. Who Let The Sephy out part II

wltso_II **Who Let The Sephy Out?!**   
**Part II**   
**By: lonlyaeris**   
**lonlyaeris@hotmail.com**   
  
**Seph: [walks around] Hm, I should call upon a EVIL demon! YES! I shall call upon IFRIT!!!! [takes out Ifrit's materia] H**l Fire!!**

**[Ifrit pops out and is ready to attack. He looks around and see's that it's only Seph....]**

**Ifrit: What da ya want......?**

**Seph: WHAT DO U THINK I WANT?! I WANT U TO KILL CLOUD AND THE OTHERS!! SO I CAN RULE THE WORLD!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!**

**Ifrit: [sweat drop] uh......**

**Seph: Well? What do ya think? Will you join me!!**

**Ifrit: ....**

**Seph: ...well?**

**Ifrit: bu bye....[gets back in the Materia]**

**Seph: HUH?!?! HEEEEEYY!!!! COME BACK HEEEEEEERE!!!!! [starts bawlin and crying] I DIDN'T SAY LEEEEAAAVE!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!**

**[Seph summons Ifrit again]**

**Ifrit: WHAT DO YOU WAAAAAANT?????!!!!!**

**Seph: *sniff* I d-didn't say leave yet...*hiccup***

**Ifrit: cry baby.....................................................................................................**

**Seph: [stops bawlin] wha'd you say!!!!!!!!**

**Ifrit: umm, nothin. Weren't you dead?**

**Seph: NOW! Let us go and destroy Cloud Strife and his comrades!!! [turnes into a super deformed (chibi) Sephy...^_^()] WE WILL NOT LOSE THIS TIME!!!!**

**Ifrit: How'd you get this Materia...?**

**Seph: Ummmmmmmmmmm...[sweat drop] I uhh, ordered it from a catalog...NOW LET'S GO!!!!**

**Ifrit: Oh, okay. Well I...Wait a second. You didn't ordered this from a catalog! You...**

**Seph: [smacks Ifrit with the back of his sword] *ahem* ANYWAY!!!**

**Ifrit: ow...that hurt Sephy!! ;_;**

**Seph: Now that we are done with this chittering and chattering, we have to ride into the sunset devilish monster!! Then we will backstab Cloud and...huh?**

**voice from the distance: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!**

**[suddenly RedXIII finaly pops out of the sky from the explosion (which was in the last chapter ^_~) and lands on top of Seph with a big: BAM!!!**

**Seph: O-ow....I-I'm in pain...**

**Ifrit: Um, BUST-A-MOVE!!!! SEE YA! [disappears]**

**Seph: H-hey!!!! WAIT!!!! I DIDN'T SAY LEEEEEEEAAAVE!!!!! [starts crying again]**

**RedXIII: WOWWIE! WHAT A RIDE!! Geez, what did I land on? [looks down at Seph] Oh! Hi! Um, weren't you dead?**

**Seph: GET OFF ME K-NINE!! I mean FELINE!! Or, whatever you are...**

**RedXII: How insulting!! Weren't you dead?**

**Seph: I SAID GET OFFFFFFF!! [Pushes Red off] By the way, how did you get here?**

**RedXIII: Oh! I was just sleeping when I was rudly disturbed by CaitSith's experiment.**   
**Therefore: I was blown away, and deliberately sent here.**

**Seph: What does "deliberately" mean?**

**RedXIII: Um, I dunno...I just like the sound of it. It makes me sound intelligent.**

**Seph: Um, Oh. Okay.**

**RedXIII: So, um...what's up?**

**Seph: I'm going to destroy Cloud and his allies!!! And then take over the world! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!**

**RedXIII: OH MY GOSH!!! YOUR A BADGUY!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [runs off stupidly]**

**Seph: ...................................**   
**...**   
**...**   
**...**   
**...**   
**...**   
**...okay.......whatever.**

***meanwhile***

**Phoenix: Okay...Shiva...I'm only gonna ask this once...!**

**Shiva: Bring it on! Bub!**

**Phoenix: Alright....but be prepared for the worst!! Do you? Got.....any.....2's?**

**Shiva: Hahahahahaha!!!! GOLDFISH!!!!!!!**

**Phoenix: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!**

**Titan: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!! [tips the table over and stomps on it to itty bitty pieces]**

**Ifrit: URG! [throws cards on the floor] There goes my soda! [stomps away]**

**Shiva: Aw, c'mon Titan! Don't be a sore loser! I won and there's nothin you can do about it!**

**Titan: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!**

**Phoenix: Shutup you big baby!!**

**[All of a sudden, Sephy appears!]**

**Shiva, Titan, and Pheonix: ???**

**Seph: All of you!!! I need your help to defeat Cloud and the others!! Wadduya say?**

**Shiva, Titan, and Pheonix: Um.........**

**Seph: What are you staring at me for?**

**Titan: WE BUSY!**

**Shiva: How'd you get here?**

**Pheonix: And weren't you dead?**

**Seph: STOP STARING AT ME!**

**Ifrit: [comes back with another soda] Hm? Hey! OH NO! NOT YOU AGAIN!!**

**[Baumut, and Hades walk in with 9 beers]**

**Baumut: Hey everyone!**

**Hades: Huh? What the @@%^% is he doin here!?**

**Seph: You are all going to come with me to defeat Cloud!**

**Baumut: Um, right whatever sherlock...**

**Seph: My name is NOT Sherlock! It's Se...**

**Levingtain: [runs in stupidly] WAZZZZUUUUUUUUPP!?!**

**Baumut: WAZZZZUUUUUUUUPP!?!**

**Hades: WAZZZUUUUUUUUPP!?!**

**Ifrit: WAZZZZUUUUUUUUPP!?!**

**Shiva: WAZZZZUUUUUUUUPP!?!**

**Titan: WAZZZZUUUUUUUUPP!?!**

**Pheonix: WAZZZZUUUUUUUUPP!?!**

**All except Seph: WAZZZZUUUUUUUUPP!?!**

**Seph: Ummm...[sweat drop] They're scaring me! [disappears]**


	3. Who let the sephy out part III

part III **Who Let The Sephy Out!?**   
**Part III**   
**By: lonelyaeris**   
**lonlyaeris@hotmail.com**   
  
**Author's Note:**   
**Wow! People actually like this story! I'm so happy! ^_^ So, how does everyone like it so far? Forgive me if I make mistakes on the summon's names, I'm so lazy that I don't even bother to look up their names...^_^() so, please don't get mad at me...well R/R and no flames please...**   


**CaitSith: [crying] *sniff* I'm so ashamed!!!!!!!!! I'm so DUMB!!******

**Tifa: [sweat drop] Um, there ther...cait. It's okay. Even though it's your fault, and that you blew RedXIII to the next generation and blowing up seventh heaven in the process, we all forgive you...and I'm sure RedXIII would forgive too....******

**CaitSith: Y-you really think so?******

**Tifa: Ofcourse! Right Cloud?******

**Cloud: [standing next to the trashed Seventh heaven] Look at this mess!!! It's all your fault your fault that this place is blown up you stupid cat!!!!!******

**Tifa: CLOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!******

**Cloud: Yes...?******

**Tifa: SHUTUP YOU NUMBSKULL!!!! I'm trying to tell Cait that it's not his fault!!! So shut your friggin mouth before I punch you to the next century!!!!!******

**Cloud: EeK!!! I'm uh....gonna go talk to uh, Aeris. Umm... see ya! [zips off] (hey...you wouldn't wanna get your butt kicked by Tifa would you? heh...I didn't think so...)******

**Yuffie: Hmph....I'm not cleaning up this mess!******

**Cid: $@@!^^*&!!!!! He broke the $@#^ TV too!!******

**Barret: Does that mean we ain't gonna be watching Jerry Springer today?******

**Cid: And how do you expect to watch it?? The %@% TV is broken!!******

**Yuffie: Hey I've got an idea! Why don't we take the tiny bronco and go watch Jerry Springer live??******

**Barret: Right!! Let's go!******

**Cid: WAIT JUST A #!$@ MINUET!!!!! YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE THE TINY BRONCO FOR $%@$ REASONS LIKE THAT!!!!!!******

**Yuffie and Barret: [leave with the tiny bronco to go watch Jerry Springer live]******

**Cid: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY!!!!!!! COME BACK HERE YOU $#@$#$@$S!!!!!******

***6 minuets later*******

**Aeris: Oh c'mon Cid! Cheer up! It's not that bad once you think about it...******

**Cid: WHAT THE %#@ IS THAT S'POSE TA MEAN!!!!!! YOU THINK IT'S OKAY THAT THOSE FRIGGIN $@$ HOLES TOOK MY BABY?!?!******

**Cloud: uhh, your........baby?******

**Cid: YEAH! YOU GOTTA PROBLEM?!******

**Cloud: Um, no...uh...nevermind.******

**Aeris: Um. Anyway...it's not that bad. I mean, how long could it be?******

**[at Jerry Springers]******

**Girl: I'm sorry baby...but I've been cheating on you.******

**Guy: WHAT!? WHO THE $@% IS THE $@%^!!!!!!!????******

**Jerry: Well let's send him out shall we?******

**[Other guy walks out cussing at the audience then the Guy starts beating the other guy up while the girl starts mouthing off to both of the guys...and the audience starts chanting]******

**Audience: JERRY! JERRY!******

**Yuffie and Barret: JERRY! JERRY!!******

**[back at uhh, seventh heaven..or at leased what's left of it...]******

**Aeris: We've got to do something to cheer Cid up...Cloud, you try...******

**Cloud: Me? Aw man, um...what should I say?******

**Aeris: anything...******

**Cloud: Okay....Cid, I know how you must feel. That tiny bronco must have been the world to you. And I know how it must feel to loose something very dear...like when Aeris got killed..........******

**Aeris: Um Cloud...?******

**Cloud: When I saw Seph stick that sword through her back, I knew right then I had to...******

**Tifa: Hey! Cloud!******

**Cloud: My heart was aching....I thought that it would never heal...******

**Vincent: Cloud....Aeris...is******

**CaitSith: Um, hey, Cloud? Aeris is right....******

**Cloud: And I had fire in my eyes! I was so furious! I knew...******

**Cid: the #@$??******

**Cloud: If only Aeris was here right now...******

**Aeris: But Cloud...I'm right..******

**Cloud: Poor poor Aeris...******

**Everyone: CLOUD!!!!******

**Cloud: Mm?******

**Aeris: I'm right here Cloud...I was right here the whole time...******

**Cloud: Mm? [looks at Aeris] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! IT'S A GHOST!!!!!!!RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNN! [runs and slams into a wall then blacks out.]******

**Tifa: hoo boy......okaaay my turn...Cid, how about we put our money together and buy you a NEW airplane?******

**Cid: [turns around and gives her the evil eye]******

**Tifa: Of um, maybe not...******

**CaitSith: I've got an idea! How about I sing a song!!!******

**Everyone: NO!******

**Cait: [singing] Oooooooh!! And the weather wind goes sweepin down the plains!!!! And...******

**[everyone tackles Cait down]******

**Aeris: Um, Vincent. How about you?******

**Vincent: I have no intentions of cheering Cid up...******

**Aeris: Why...?******

**Vincent: .........................******

**Aeris: Vince?******

**Vincent: .........................******

**Aeris: Um, okay never mind..............******

**CaitSith: Then why don't we all sing: The Scooby Doo song!!******

**Tifa: Oh dear lord no......******

**Cait: [starts singing again] Scooby Dooby Doo! Where are you? We got some work to do now! Scooby Dooby Doo....******

**Tifa: [punches Cait]******

**Cait: [blacks out]******

**Yuffie and Barret: We're back!******

**Cid: !!! [hops up and runs to his tiny bronco] OH MY BABY!!! I MISSED YOU!!!******

**Yuffie: [stares down at the lifeless bodies of Cait and Cloud] Wha-?******

**Aeris and Tifa: don't ask...******

**Yuffie: oh.******

**RedXIII: Poor guys...******

**Barret: Where'd you come from?******

**RedXIII: oh, hmm, i know that I was supposed to tell you something.....hm. what was it? Ah! I remember now! *ahem*:**   
**RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SEPHIROTH IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!******

**Cloud: [magically brought back to life. Yes, he did kill himself running into that wall] Sephiroth? But I thought he was dead...******

**RedXIII: I thought you were too...******

**Cloud: shutup...******

**[suddenly a dark Cloud (not the character) billows over the land and Sephiroth appears floating the the sky]******

**The Almighty Sephiroth: BEWARE!!! I AM THE ALMIGHTY SEPH...******

**Barret: How'd you do that?******

**The Almighty Sephiroth: Do what?******

**CaitSith: (yes, he's up too) Your flying! How'd you do it?******

**The Almighty Sephiroth: Hm, I dunno...How did I do that? I almost forgot...I can't do that, heh heh. Silly me I.....w-w-w-WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAA! [falls splat on the ground]******

**Aeris: Ooh. That's gotta hurt...******

**The Wimpy Sephy: *sniff sniff* I-I think I've gotta Boo boo!!******

**Everyone: [laughs]******

**To be continued...**   
****


	4. Who let the Sephy out part IV

WLTSO_IV **Who Let The Sephy Out?!**   
**Part IV**   
**Lonly Æris**   
  
**Hahahaha!! Yes! I'm STILL writing this story! Hahahaha heh heh heh uhhhhhhhokay...It's not that funny. But I will keep continuing and I will NOT stop unless I want to...**   
**...**   
**ANYWAY....you know the drill...these FFVII characters don't belong to me and they are a copyright of Square Soft....So...don't sue me please...please? I'll be your best friend!! Perdy please?**

**Cloud: Now then...what do you say Sephiroth?**

**Seph: ........................**

**Cloud: SAY IT!**

**Seph: NEVER!**

**Cloud: Okaaaaay! Everyone!**

**Everyone besides Cait puts on thier ear muffs**

**Cloud: Cait? What did you have a dream about last night...?**

**Cait: Hm? Ah! I'm glad you asked that Cloud! Ya see, I had a dream about pancakes! It was a rather STRANGE dream cause I was in a big giant hole....then outta knowhere, came this BIG O' GIANT PANCAKE!! And I'm talkin BIG here....ha, not this plate size, I mean this TORNADO size!! It was huge!!!!!**

**Seph: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!**

**Cait: And I thought, Uh oh! What am I honna do here?! But then my shoulder Angel came, ya know, that one voice I was talkin about...the Bill Nye one....well he said, "CaitSith...use your physic power!!" then I'm like, "Okay!" But then I remembered, "Hey wait a second! I don't HAVE physic power!!!" So then the voice said, "Oh well, I guess you'll just have to eat it then..." So Mog and I had to...**

**Seph: FOR THE LOVE OF MARY!!! PLEASE MAKE HIM STOP!!!!!!!!**

**An hour later...**

**Aeris: What did he say...?**

**Tifa: WHAT?!**

**Aeris: I said, "WHAT DID HE SAY!?"**

**Tifa: WHAT?!**

**Aeris: NEVER MIND!**

**Tifa: WHAT?!**

**RedXIII: OH MY GOSH! TIFA'S GONE DEAF!!!**

**Tifa: WHAT?!**

**Barret: why do you all keep shouting in capital letters?**

**Cloud: I DON'T KNOW! BUT IT'S FUN THOUGH!!**

**RedXIII: By the way....what's a deaf?**

**Cid: How the %##& should I know?!**

**Aeris: Hey! Did you guys notice that the more further we go in this story, the more stupider we get?**

**Everyone: ??**

**Yuffie: Yeah! I think I'll punce Vincent for the fun of it!!**

**Vincent: Wait a second....why do you wanna...**

**Yuffie: [punches Vincent for no apparent reason]**

**Vincent: Ow! What was that for!?**

**Yuffie: Hahaha!!!! Wahahahahahaha *snort* hahahahahahahaha!!! I DUNNO! I-I JUST FELT LIKE...WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!**

**Vincent: ...............that's not funny...**

**Yuffie: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! YES IT IS!! HAHAHAHA!**

**Vincent: *limit* [turns into Chaos] NOW WE'LL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING AFTER I EAT YOU UP YOU SISSY!!!!**

**Yuffie: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! [runs away]**

**RedXIII: Hey! Your right Aeris!! We are getting stupider!**

**Cloud: Yeah! I think I'll go jump off a cliff!! [runs to a 7900000000 ft. high clif]**

**Seph: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Cid: What are ya whinin about now!?!**

**Seph: I don't know...**

**Cid: [looks at everybody] none of y'all mind if I kill him do ya?**

**Aeris: I don't mind.......**

**RedXIII: Sure. Why not?**

**Barret: What are we talking about?**

**Yuffie: YEAH!!!!! KILL HIM!**

**Vincent: He's no big loss...**

**Cloud: [doesn't respond seeing that he already jumped off the cliff]**

**Tifa: WHAT?!**

**CaitSith: What's a llama?**

**Cid: Ok! I'll kill im' then...**

**Seph: Ha! YOU CANNOT KILL THE GREAT SEPHIROTH! I AM INVINCIBUL!!! HAHAHAHA-----**

**Cid: [kills Sephiroth]**

**Seph: ................owie**

**Cid: There! That otta shut im' up!! Now, what were we talking about?**

**Aeris: Hey Cid! Guess what I found out?!**

**Cid: [sighs] What?**

**Aeris: I just figured out that I'm dead!!!**

**Cid ..........**

**Aeris: ........**

**Cid: Really Aeris....you should've figured that out a long time ago...**

**Barret: What's a llama???**

**Cid: What...?**

**Barret: WHAT THE FRICKIN ^$@$@ IS A LLAMA!!!!????**

**Tifa: WHAT?!**

**Cid: .............................riiiiiiiiiiiiight...[scoots AWAY from Barret] Cait...what's goin on here?**

**CaitSith: Hmm....well let's see...Tifa's deaf, Aeris has just figured out that she's supposed to be dead, Cloud just jumped off a cliff,RedXIII is just plain confused, Vincent is trying to murder Yuffie, Barret is trying to figure out what a llama is, Sephiroth is dead now, your trying to find out what is wrong with everyone, and I am losing my mind as we know it...**

**Cid: Uh huh.......Cait?**

**CaitSith: ...yes?**

**Cid: Did your batteries run out?**

**CaitSith: mmm.....maybe...**

**To Be Continued...**


	5. Who let the Sephy out part 5

kkkkk5 **Who Let The Sephy Out?! part 5**   
**By: lonelyaeris**   
**lonlyaeris@hotmail.com**

**Aeris: There! Almost deep enough! [digs a hole]**

**Cid: Aeris? What the hell are ya doin?!**

**Aeris: I'm digging my grave! What does it look like?!**

**Cid: er...[looks around] Hey Vincent? Weren't you trying to kill Yuffie or somethin...?**

**Vincent: ....We're taking a 15 minuet break.**

**Cid: Uh huh...Right. Is there anyone normal around here besides me?!?**

**Chocobo: WARK! I AM! WARK!**

**Cid: [glares at chocobo] .........**

**Chocobo: er...WARK! Bu bye! [runs away]**

**Barret: I'VE FOUND YOU!!!!**

**Chocobo: [freezes] er....**

**Barret: LLAMA!!!!**

**Chocobo: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MANIAC!!!**

**Barret: Come back here llama! There's so much I wanna tell ya!!!! [runs after chocobo]**

**Chocobo: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!**

**Vincent: Are you done yet!?**

**Yuffie: HOLD ON!!! [gulps down some water] Ok!**

**Vincent: [changes back into Chaos]**

**Yuffie: WAAAA!!! [runs away]**

**Tifa: WOW! What are those blue things in the sky??**

**RedXIII: Those are called birds Tifa....**

**Tifa: WHAT?!**

**RedXIII: ..........**

**Tifa: Did ya know that 2+2=22?**

**RedXIII: Wow, not only is she deaf,and insane, she's also stupid!!! Cool!**

**Tifa: Butter is thicker than chicken!!!**

**RedXIII: Yes Tifa, and you are dumber than dirt!**

**Tifa: WHAT?!**

***Up in heaven***

**Cloud: Hey! What are you doing here!?**

**Sephiroth: How should I know? But I did die too ya' know...**

**Cloud: Really? Who'd you get killed by?**

**Sephiroth: Cid...**

**Cloud: Cool! Wait...aren't you supposed to be in hell?**

**Sephiroth: Oh yeah!! ...oops**

**[sephiroth falls from the clouds and back to earth]**

**Cid: [looks at Sephiroth] Hey. I thought I killed you!!**

**Sephiroth: Er...yeah. Bye! [sinks underground]**

**Cid: the hell...?**

**Aeris: There! 18 ft. under ground! How is that?**

**CaitSith: Hmm. I dunno...dig 18 ft. more underground!**

**Aeris: .................**

**CaitSith: What?**

**Aeris: Are you sure?**

**CaitSith: Of course I'm sure! Now dig dammit!!**

**Aeris: er...okay?**

**CaitSith: Okay!!**

**Aeris: [starts digging some more]**

**CaitSith: heh heh...I'm such a ham...**

**Cloud: Hi!**

**Aeris and CaitSith: WHAT?!**

**Tifa: WHAT?!**

**Aeris and CaitSith: ................**

**Cloud: I'm alive again!!!**

**Aeris: Why did you jump off a cliff?**

**Cloud: We're suppose to be stupid in this chapter remember?**

**Aeris: Oh yeah!**

**Chocobo: HELP ME!!!! [runs to Cid]**

**Cid: Why the hell should I help you?**

**Chocobo: Cause I'm cute...**

**Barret: WAIT! THERE IS STILL SO MUCH I WANNA TELL YA!!!!**

**Chocobo: PLEASE!!!! TAKE ME SOMEWHERE AWAY FROM HIM!!!**

**Cid: Mm...ok. [kills Chocobo]**

**Chocobo: erk....that's...not...exactly...what...I...had...in...mind...[dies]**

**Barret: ??? Where'd the llama go?**

**Cid: To Gold Saucer, now get the hell away from me!**

**Barret: Okee Dokee...**

**Cid: Barret...that is the first time I've heard you say "okee dokee"**

**Barret: Let's go look for Blue's Clues!!!**

**Everyone besides Barret and Tifa on account that Tifa is deaf: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Barret: What?**

**Cloud: HE WATCHES BLUE'S CLUES!!! KILL HIM!**

***Cloud now has a new mission of hunting down Barret and killing him cause he watches Blue's Clues...-_-()***

**To Be Continued...**


	6. Who let the sephy out part 6

partVI **Who Let The Sephy Out!? part VI**   
**By: *YOU KNOW WHO I AM GOD DAMMIT!!!***   
**lonlyaeris@hotmail.com**   
  
**Er...copyright...square soft....don't sue me...please?**   


**Vincent: Cloud?******

**Cloud: Yes?******

**Vincent: Can I kill Tifa?******

**Cloud: No! Why?******

**Vincent: Cause she's annoying...******

**Tifa: WHAT?!******

**Cloud: Well...you can't kill her. She's my girlfriend...******

**Vincent: dammit...******

**Aeris: Hey! I thought I was your girlfriend Cloud!!!******

**Cloud: No. Your dead...remember?******

**Aeris: Oh yeah!! [starts working on her coffin]******

**Tifa: WAA!!! I CAN'T HEAR A WORD YOUR SAYING!!!******

**Vincent: ..........why can't you?******

**Tifa: I don't know!!!!******

**Vincent: Hah! You responded to my question!!! You aren't deaf!!******

**Tifa: er...******

**Aeris: Hah hah!! Tifa is a faker!!!******

**Tifa: SHUTUP YOU TWO!!!******

**Aeris and Vincent: Tifa's faking it!!!!******

**Tifa: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!******

**Cloud: Isn't that a good thing that she's not deaf?******

**Aeris and Vincent: um...oh yeah!!******

**Cloud and Tifa: .............................******

**CaitSith: Whatever happened to that Chocobo?******

**Cid: I killed the damn thing. So what?******

**Barret: *sniff* poor little llama...******

**RedXIII: FOR THE LAST TIME! IT'S NOT A LLAMA!! IT'S A "CHOCOBO!!!"******

**Yuffie: This proves that theory!! Barret is the most dumbest one of all...******

**Barret: Shu' up or I'll blow yer damn head to pieces!!!******

**Yuffie: I think that, that's a pretty crucial conjunction indeed if you ask me...******

**RedXIII, Barret, CaitSith, and Cid: .........???????????????????????????????????******

**Yuffie: What?******

**Cid: How the hell did YOU learn to speak like a smart person????******

**Yuffie: Well, if you think of it, I've been smart for a long time...you idiots, have never tooken the time to listen to me. I'm great at everything...arithmetic, times tables, Math, Social skills, and algebra...******

**RedXIII: erm...******

**CaitSith: Huh?******

**Cid: What the hell?******

**Barret: My head hurts!******

***Back in Hell*******

**Sephiroth: Hello mister Devil! I am Sephiroth! I'm here cause I've done some pretty bad things...like destroy midgar, kill an ancient, and do some other things...******

**Devil: I see...and do you have any insurance?******

**Sephiroth: Er...no.******

**Devil: Then get the hell outta here ya penny pincher!!! [kicks Sephiroth out of hell]******

**Sephiroth: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!******

**Devil: EVERONE KNOWS THAT YOU NEED INSURANCE TO GET IN HELL!!! WHY DON'T YOU KNOW THAT!!!!???******

**Vincent: [watches Sephiroth come outta hell]******

**Sephiroth: urg...[spots Vincent] Hiye!!!******

**Vincent: What the hell?******

**Sephiroth: Do you wanna be my friend?******

**Vincent: Hell no!!! Get the fuck away from me you freak!!!******

**Sephiroth: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!******

**Vincent: dammit...******

**Sephiroth: Please?******

**Vincent: What do I look like?! Your fuckin doll!? Get away!!******

**Sephiroth: But I wanna....******

**Vincent: [turns into hell masker] I SAID GO AWAY!!!******

**Sephiroth: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!! [runs away]******

**Vincent: [changes back] freak...******

**Sephiroth: [spots Yuffie] Hey!!******

**Yuffie: Huh? [spots Seph]******

**...**   
**...**   
**...**   
**...**   
**...******

***A looooooooooooooooong six hour pause*******

**Sephiroth: Do you wanna be my friend?******

**Yuffie: er............weren't you dead?******

**Sephiroth: BE MY FRIEND DAMMIT!!!******

**Yuffie: Go away...******

**Sephiroth: Not until you be my friend....******

**Yuffie: No. Go away....******

**Sephiroth: What do you say?******

**Yuffie: Get outta my way before I throw your fuckin ass across the galaxy!!!******

**Sephiroth: er...good enough...[moves and Yuffie walks past him] meany...******

**Yuffie: I HEARD THAT!!!******

**Sephiroth: eek! She's scary!! [runs away and spots Cid] Ooh!! Hi Cid!! Will you be my friend?******

**Cid: What the hell?******

**Sephiroth: Yeah. That's what Vincent said...******

**Cid: I thought I fuckin killed you.......******

**Sephiroth: Will you be my friend?******

**Cid: HELL NO!!!!******

**Sephiroth: Why not???******

**Cid: Cause your a gay fuckin insane maniac now go away!!!******

**Sephiroth: *sniff* h-how cold...******

**Cid: Go talk to Cait....he'll talk to anyone...******

**Sephiroth: Hey! Good idea! [walks to Cait] Hi! Wanna be my friend?******

**CaitSith: Are you fuckin crazy??? I'm not THAT desperate!!******

**Sephiroth: But I...******

**CaitSith: I thought Cid killed you!******

**Sephiroth: He did...******

**CaitSith: Then what are you doin still alive then?******

**Sephiroth: Well the devil threw me out cause I don't have any insurance...******

**CaitSith: YOU DON'T HAVE ANY INSURANCE!? MAN ARE YOU JAKKED!!!******

**Sephiroth: I think I'm gonna cry...******

**CaitSith: Then go cry to someone else...******

***Sephiroth walks away and goes to RedXIII*******

**Sephiroth: Hi! You wanna be my...******

**RedXIII: No...******

**Sephiroth: But Cait just said...******

**RedXIII: No...******

**Sephiroth: But...******

**RedXIII: No...******

**Sephiroth: I...******

**RedXIII: No...******

**Sephiroth: dammit!!! [stomps away to Cloud] You will be friend right?******

**Cloud: Um, no.******

**Sephiroth: But I talked to FIVE people already and they won't be my friend! Please?******

**Cloud: Er. You almost destroyed the world....you think I wanna be freinds with a maniac that wants world domination?******

**Sephiroth: No...******

**Cloud: Very good...now go away.******

**Sephiroth: Ok! [goes to Aeris] Hi Aeris!******

**Aeris: Hi Sephiroth!******

**Sephiroth: Please oh please can we be friends??******

**Aeris: Sure we can.....just not right now!******

**Sephiroth: *waterfall tears* REALLY?! You'll be my friend?? When can we be friends??******

**Aeris: When hell freezes over....******

**Sephiroth: Ok!!! Wait a second....[turnes to Barret] Will you be my....?******

**Barret: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! [runs away]******

**Sephiroth: er...that was pointless....well there's only one more person to ask...Tifa...******

**To Be Continued...**   
****   
****


	7. Who let the Sephy out part 7

VII **Who Let The Sephy Out!? part VII**   
**By: If you don't know who I am, I pity you...**   
**lonlyaeris@hotmail.com**   
  
**How many times do I have to say it?!? These FFVII characters don't belong to me and they are a copy right of Square Soft....now can I please stop saying it...? Don't sue me!!!**   


**[Sephiroth walks towards Tifa slowly and carefully so Tifa doesn't kick his butt]**

**Tifa: Erm, Seph, What are you doing?**

**Sephiroth: I um, could you um, be my uh..fr...**

**Tifa: No.**

**Sephiroth: okay.**

**Tifa: Now I will throw your body into a fire and sell it to a peasant you poor sad sick little freak...hahaha!!**

**Sephiroth: okay.**

**Mog: [appears from nowhere] She is evil... [goes away]**

**Tifa: .........? What was that about?**

**Ifrit: [appears] WAZZZUUUUUUPP?!**

**Tifa: WAZZZUUUUUUPP?!**

**Mog: WAZZZUUUUUUUPP?!**

**Tifa: WHY AM I TALKING TO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU?!**

**Mog: BEATS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!**

**Ifrit: WAZZZUUUUUUUPP?!**

**Mog and Tifa: SHUTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPP!!**

**Ifrit: OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!**

*****************************************************************************

**Yuffie: Hey! Guess what this is!!! [holds up a little black devise]**

**RedXIII: I don't know, what is it?**

**Yuffie: I have no idea...that's why I asked you....**

**RedXIII: [falls back]**

**Barret: Hey! Guess what this is!!! [holds up a highly delicate explosive devise]**

**Yuffie: I don't know, what is it?**

**Barret: I have no idea...that's why I asked you...**

**RedXIII: You morons!!! That's a highly delicate explosive devise!!!!!**

**Barret: and Yuffie: What's a highly delicate ekplosive devise?**

**RedXIII: uh oh...**

**[The highly delicate explosive devise explodes]**

**[Yuffie and Barret go flying]**

**[into the distance]**

**[Albert Einstein is dead...;_;]**

**[Hey...I gotta take up space somehow....]**

**[a chicken laid an egg]**

**[eggs are yummy]**

**[brown beans are not]**

**[I don't like brown beans]**

**[Yuffie and Barret are still flying]**

**RedXIII: Hmm....while I'm waiting, I'll play the "Say 100,000,000,000 things game!"**

**[host pops up outta nowhere]**

**Host: Hiiii there!! And welcome to the.....**

**Audience: [appears also outta nowhere...] SAY100,000,000,000 THINGS GAME!!!**

**Host: That's RIGHT!!!!! And our lucky contestant is!!! RED100,000,000,000!!!!**

**RedXIII: actually...it's red....**

**Host: ANYWAY!!!! Your challenger today will be: *drumroll* CAITSITH!!!**

**CaitSith: [pops up ALSO outta nowhere] What the hell?**

**Host: Hello Cait...mind if I call ya Cait?**

**CaitSith: Actually I do....**

**Host OKAY CAIT!**

**CaitSith: Where the hell am I?**

**Host: Your playing the...**

**Audience: "SAY 100,000,000,000 THINGS GAME!!!"**

**CaitSith: HEY!!! I LOVE THAT GAME!!!!!**

**Host: That's Great!!! Cause your goin up against, RED100,000,000,000!!!!**

**RedXIII: Um, It's red...**

**Host: ANYWAY!!!! Now let's get ready.....**

**RedXIII: uh....*sweatdrop***

**Host: Get set... GO!!!!**

**CaitSith: 100,000,000,000 things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Host: THAT'S RIGHT!!! YOU WIN!!!**

**RedXIII: Wait a minuet....I thought he had to say 100,000,000,000 things....**

**Host: Um, he did....**

**CaitSith: I WIN!!!!!!!!!**

**Host He said "100,000,000,000 things..."**

**RedXIII: WHAT?!?!**

**[a private jet appears and CaitSith runs inside and goes to China]**

**RedXIII: DIE YOU STUPID GAME HOST!!!!**

**Host: Now, now...don't get mad.....there's always next t.....**

**[RedXIII pounces on the host and starts to kill him while CaitSith enjoys a peacful vacation in China]**

**Mog: WAAAAZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPP!?!?!?**

**RedXIII: [Glares at Mog and pounces on him too]**

**[Chocobo runs past them]**

**[that was pointless]**

**[Here I go again]**

**Aeris: Hey Vincent! 'knock knock!'**

**Vincent: Your not doing one of those damned knock knock jokes are you?**

**Aeris: 'KNOCK KNOCK!!!'**

**Vincent: *sigh* who's there....?**

**Aeris: Banana!**

**Vincent:Banana who?**

**Aeris: 'knock knock'**

**Vincent: *sweat drop* who's there?**

**Aeris: Banana...**

**Vincent: Banana who?**

**Aeris: 'knock knock...'**

**Vincent: -_- .............**

**Aeris: 'KNOCK 'KNOCK!!!'**

**Vincent: -_- who's there...**

**Aeris: Banana....**

**Vincent: .......... Banana who**

**Aeris: 'knock knock'**

**Vincent: [glares at Aeris] ...who's there...**

**Aeris: Orange....**

**Vincent: orange who...**

**Aeris: orange you glad I didn't say banana?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! GET IT?? ORANGE, BANANA? HAHAHAHAHAHA?**

**Vincent: THAT'S IT BITCH!! I DON'T CARE WHAT CLOUD SAYS, YOUR STILL GOIN DOWN!!!! [changes into Chaos]**

**Aeris: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!**

**Cloud: ...................hey you can't kill her...she's my...**

**Vincent: SHUTUP DUMBASS!!!!!**

**Cloud: eep...**

**Aeris: Haha! I'm gonna die again!!******

**Vincent: You bet it!!!!!!******

**Cloud: How can she die again...?******

**Sephiroth: Hi Cloud!******

**Cloud: er....Sephiroth? I thought Tifa was going to throw your body into a fire and sell the peices to a sick sad freaky little peasant...?******

**[Aeris and Vincent stop]******

**Sephiroth: uh...well, she was but, she was opsessed with the wazzuuuup thing...so when I asked her if she was gonna do it, she said that she would do it later....so, I guess not....******

**CaitSith: [Comes back from a privet jet with a sun hat and a beach shirt on] Hey guys!!!******

**RedXIII: Hey, I thought you were going to China...******

**CaitSith: But I did.....isn't China that place with a big ol' beach with hoola dancers?******

**RedXIII: ..............******

**Sephiroth: ............******

**Cloud: .................******

**Aeris: ..................******

**Vincent: Cait...that's Hawaii..........******

**CaitSith: ??? You sure.....******

**Vincent: 100% sure Cait...******

**CaitSith: THAT JERK HOST!!!! I'M GETTING MY MONEY BACK!!! [runs off]******

**RedXIII: But he didn't even pay to get in the game show...******

**Cloud: Never mind that...he's bound to get the money somehow......******

**Aeris: Yah....If I know CaitSith...he'll probably hold a gun up to his head and brive him with everything he has...then when he gets the money...he'll shoot him anyway...******

**Vincent: ..........um, but I'm the only that can use guns....and Cait's never used a gun before...******

**Aeris: Hmm? [stops and thinks for a minuet] Weeeeeeeeell it *could* happen....******

**Vincent: Whatever....[walks away]******

**Cloud: Where are you going...?******

**Vincent: I think I'm gonna go comit suicide...******

**Cloud: Oh...ok, well. Tell me how hell is when you get there!******

**[everyone looks at Cloud]******

**Cloud: WHAT???******

**To Be Continued...I guess...**   
  
  



End file.
